Chester: a Poem

The pain is a razorblade skating down your throat.
You were always the specimen flattened between
a cover glass and microscope slide
(secured, magnified, viewed).
The spotlight amplified your voice,
but no amount of stage lamps could rip the pain
from your life.

You splayed yourself open for dissection,
gave the world the opportunity to see you bare.
You screamed through your pain, clawing out
of the depths of your sorrow, but each time,
more dirt piled on you,
muffling your screams (damaging your vocal cords) and severing your spirit.

When I wanted to scorch off my thumbprints and abandon my name, your lullabies cradled me with their familiar shrieks. You were buried with ligature markings – not just the noose you tied but the connection of paradoxical pitches in the songs you sang.

(The songs that lacerated through my loneliness – the ones that pierced through my pain.)

I shouted at the moon, but no one heard the shout when it escaped as a whisper. Not a word shredded my lungs, but your melody serrated my heart.

I want to tell you I’m sorry, but apologies are like bouquets of dried flowers at a funeral. Too little, too late.

You taught me that poetry and song aren’t all that different. You taught me never to sacrifice or surrender but to fight with my last dying breath.

So, here I am, gasping for oxygen, begging to hear your voice

one

last

time.

*Cover image via Hardwired Magazine*

6 thoughts on “Chester: a Poem

  1. Yes, I understand you. As for you, his music was very therapeutic for me. It’s like if I was heard and understood. His demons won, but he let us a huge legacy that keeps him alive in a certain way. Chester was one of a kind, and still is. Do you have a favourite song/album?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ingrid, I hope some day to leave such a legacy – to make people feel heard and understood. I agree his legacy keeps his spirit alive. When I listen to Linkin Park now, I feel safe – almost embraced by Chester’s words and his singing.

      I can’t say I have a favorite song or album, but “One Step Closer” was my anthem when it first came out. I played “In the End” over and over when one of my friends died.

      “One More Light” and “Heavy” are ones I find myself returning to as an adult. I’m so glad you stopped by and commented on this poem.

      What are some of your favorites?

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I really enjoy reading your messages Isabelle. I’m also glad to have caught your poem in the WP Reader. Maybe, it was something like right time, right place.

    Yes, it’s a difficult choice. But if I have to pick only two, they’ll be ‘Faint’ and ‘Leave Out Of The Rest’. I discovered LP with ‘One Step Closer’. I’ll never forget when I saw it live, Chester screaming above the crowd. I never sang so loud at a gig!

    ‘In The End’ and ‘Somewhere I Belong’ still have a special place in my heart, as old friends of my teen years, and the loyal companions during one the darkest times of my life later.

    I sincerely wish you all the best. It’s so good to chat with someone like you about one of the most talented artists ever.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s amazing how things like that happen. Certain things fall into place at the right time. I truly believe that.

      Oh, that’s amazing you got to see them live. I never had the opportunity, but I have seen videos of their concerts, and you can just tell how the lyrics resonate with the fans. I truly hope that I will be able to accomplish something like that some day.

      I’m so glad you survived those dark times. I think we gain so much strength during times like that – even though at the time, the last thing we feel is strong.

      I’ve enjoyed talking with you too! Feel free to comment any time or if you have social media, feel free to follow me or send me a message! 🖤

      Liked by 2 people

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