Dear Little Girl Lost: Part II

Read Part I here.


dearlittlegirl lost

your heart wasn’t the [only] problem.

don’t you remember {the contents of} your mind?

filthy

polluted

cluttered with impurities

dirty jokes & swear words like

fuck&damn&cunt

and you stopped going to church and started playing with crystals and dream study and tarot cards.

you swallowed all the lessons your mother taught you, but you spat back obscenities. could you still be a

good person

(if you swore and stopped going to church but fed the homeless and listened to the mute?)

fuck. they just wanted a perfect daughter.

she told you things that haunt you along with every ghost that you cannot let go of.

you cantletgo cantletgo cantletgo.

replays like an echo and those dreams you have that

repeat

repeat

repeat.

you’re nothing but a thorn in her side.

[you pricked the soft part of your arm once

with a thorn,

so you knew what she was talking about.]

you should have been an abortion, be grateful you were raped, wish your suicide was successful, should have been

the perfect daughter.

this isn’t the letter i set out to write, but maybe

the next one will be kinder and softer. loopy letters like that girl described.

i talked about glass skin and ink running through my veins. i joked i wasnt a god/goddess, but they all listened (devout){like disciples –

im sorry im sorry im so sorry

what’s that thing therapy taught us?

– the difference between guilt and shame –

i thought i let go of the shame.

i guess I have anotherletter (anotherpoem) to write

littlegirl lost.

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