domestic violence awareness

Spirits Follow Me Here, Too: a Short Fiction (Part IV)

May is National Short Story Month, and in honor of National Short Story Month, I decided to write a short story combining my interest in tarot and witchcraft with fiction. I hope you enjoy the result. Please be sure to check out Part I here, Part II here, and Part III here.

This next portion might be potentially triggering to some readers, so, if you are sensitive to intimate partner violence or domestic violence, please read with caution or don’t read at all. And remember, I do have resources available if you need helplines.

But falling in love was like falling into a pool – you never know its depths until you’re already submerged. I was drowning, and I couldn’t even raise my hands above my head to show I needed someone to save me.

Yet something so beautiful as falling became as hideous as looking a monster in the eye day after day, night after night. When she first swung at me, I think it struck us both by surprise. The look on her face was pure shock, and when I cried, she begged me to forgive her.

I didn’t know how to form words. How do you say anything when you’re choking on the water from drowning? How do you speak when you’re submerged?

This was no longer beauty like stained glass, but broken like the shards of glass I had swept up all my life. This was the impossible, ugly thing I told myself I never wanted in the first place but here I was, a broom in my hand, sweeping up her sins and my mistakes.

I wanted to forgive Vee, but another part of me wanted to run. Nothing about it made sense. I was entangled in this relationship, but I felt as though I needed to escape it before things deepened darker than a bruise.

It could be beautiful.

But it could be so ugly, too.

And even here the spirits followed me, listening to the tears fall. Listening to me choke on my own failings and watched me disentangle myself from the girl I thought I loved.

Was this avenue worth pursuing or should I escape before I submerge completely?

Isabelle Palerma

This short story is entirely my own content – no A.I. used to create this.

DV Awareness

October is usually saturated with pink for breast cancer awareness, but October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The purple ribbon always reminds me of the line of bruises his knuckles left on my stomach.

I try to speak about my abuse broadly so not to trigger any survivors, but please read with caution if this topic is a sensitive one for you.

I am a survivor. I was only with him for less than a year, but that type of abuse knows no timeline. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with a person. This type of abuse, like most, thrives in the dark and the shadows.

Some people ask me why I share my story. I’ve been accused of using my status as a survivor to garner sympathy, but this is just a page in my memoirs – not the entire story. The reason I share it is to bring awareness to the problem. To show people how it can happen to anyone.

I thought I was smart enough not to let it happen to me. I thought, I’m educated, I’m smart. I’ll leave if it ever gets too bad. But what I didn’t realize was the dangerous hold an abuser has over you.

It’s been over a decade, and I still have nightmares. I don’t know if they will ever go away, but I do know I saved a shard of one of the plates he threw at my head to remind myself that I’d never put myself in that situation again.

It wasn’t just physical. It was mental and sexual and financial. I no longer could afford to leave him. I was trapped.

Getting out was dangerous, but I needed to escape if I was going to live and for months, I was looking over my shoulder, constantly vigilant.

If you are in an unsafe relationship and need resources, I have some available here.

Isabelle Palerma