author

The Scent of Loss

The sky is the black of a bruised plum with a cobweb of stars scattered across it. The air no longer smells of stale cigarette smoke nor does it smell of his pungent cologne. It was a cologne kept in a green glass bottle on a high shelf that you sometimes uncorked to marvel at the power of its scent.

The air is empty. It smells of dry, autumnal leaves, and there is a chill. It makes you wish you were at a bonfire or anywhere but here. You are curled up on a reclining chair, wearing your favorite sweatshirt. Inside, there is no fire roaring in the fireplace like usual on a Friday night.

There is no fresh homemade bread baking in the oven. All the grown-ups are outside. Your mother’s eyes are bloodshot from crying. Even your father’s eyes are red-rimmed.

The moment is dark and heavy.

It as though they have forgotten you curled up in your favorite chair. You slip out the garage door past the knot of adults. You plop onto a gigantic geode that sits in the rock garden in the front yard, its many facets shine in the silver of the moon. As you inhale the air, you smell other fires in other people’s fireplaces.

You think of bonfires and candy apples and of Halloween. Halloween is only eight days away. You think of your costume still in its bag slung over your chair in the bedroom. You begin to hate Halloween. The red pencil you are writing with is the only sound as it scratches against the bone-white paper.

You tell yourself you will never forget this feeling, this moment. He is gone, and the world as you know it ceases to exist.

Darkness closes around you, but you do not cry. Though you are only eleven, you are aware of the darkness inside and outside of you. The air is empty.

The night is cold, and you are alone.

Isabelle Palerma

Poet Spotlight On: Alfred Gremsly

Alfred just recently shared with me a reader review which I feel entitled to share a part of with you all before including his interview. A reader of Alfred’s poetry had said the following:

The candor of this review honestly speaks volumes about Alfred Gremsly’s poetry, and while I am just starting to familiarize myself with his poetry, I can tell he has the same intentions I do with my writing and my day job – to provide a voice to communities normally stigmatized.

Alfred Gremsly is an American born poet who writes about mental health and the struggle that comes with it. A lifelong sufferer of anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses, Alfred began writing poetry at the young age of twelve as a means of escaping his own mind.

Whose poetry style is most like your own?

I don’t know if anyone’s poetry is like mine.
I don’t read a lot of poetry, and if I do read, it’s going to be something that’s complete opposite of what I write.

Have you received formal training for writing? If so, what’s your background? If not, what got you interested in poetry writing?

I started writing around age 12; I was a very depressed kid. We lived in the country and had nothing to do, and so, I would make homemade books for myself of my thoughts and feelings.

Who are some of your favorite poets?

Some individual poets I like to read are Jan Serene, Ashley Jane, Angie Waters, Margie Watts, and Sarah Kay Collie.

How do you feel when you’re writing a poem? Is it cathartic or do you find it draining? What types of emotions do you experience when writing poetry?

As I, myself, am a lifetime sufferer of depression and anxiety, I have extreme highs and lows. Unfortunately, it takes being in those extreme lows in order for me to get out what I’m needing to say.

I sometimes feel as if writing is a curse of sorts –
so horrible would be the feelings and emotions I’m under while writing.

A lot of my poetry features fractured versions of myself as a narrative voice. What subjects do you write about and how are they influenced by your own experiences?

I write about what I’ve been through in life’s journey – my struggles with mental illness, the feelings of being mentally ill. I have overcome a lot through in life through poetry. I now have a grasp on my depression and anxieties, and I’m now on a mission to help others suffering from mental illnesses.

Where can readers find more of your poetry?

https://instagram.com/poetalfredgremsly

http://www.alfredgremsley.com

https://a.co/d/5B8OkmR

I’ll Be Dead before I’m Better

Am I just pretending
there are voices in my head?
And can anyone else hear
a single thing they’ve said?
Am I really talking to someone
who has been talking back to me?
Or have I just become
a psychotic mystery?
Life’s no fun pretending
when you need a friend
and a therapist is not the answer
when you want the words to end.
Can anyone hear the voices
that are screaming from my head?
I’ll be dead before I’m better
if I’m not already dead

– Alfred Gremsly

Isabelle Palerma

Spooky Sunday: Interview with Brian Paone

Welcome to Spooky Sundays. Today’s interview is with Brian Paone. Brian is the founder of the Facebook group, Fiction Writing, which has played a fundamental part in my role from an amateur writer to a multi-published author. For the past seven years, this group has been growing its membership from its grassroots beginnings to nearly 145,000 members.

Brian Paone, a Massachusetts native, has been a published author since 2007. Brian has, thus far, released seven novels: “Dreams Are Unfinished Thoughts”—a memoir about befriending a drug-addicted rock star; “Welcome to Parkview”—a macabre cerebral-horror novel; “Yours Truly, 2095”—a time-travel romance novel (which was suggested for a Hugo Award, though it did not make the finalists); the “Moonlight City Drive” trilogy—a supernatural crime-noir series; and “The Post-War Dream”—a historical war fiction novel.

Brian has been a professional editor since 2014 and has edited almost 700 manuscripts for authors from all over the world, in all genres.

Brian currently lives in Fort Belvoir, VA with his wife—a Commander in the US Navy—and their four children. He is a retired police officer and worked in law enforcement for sixteen years from 2002 – 2018. He is a self-proclaimed rollercoaster junkie, a New England Patriots fanatic, and his favorite color is burnt orange. And, in 2019, he fulfilled his lifelong dream of becoming the proud owner of a 1981 DeLorean!

You have what a lot of people might consider an unconventional, or even spooky, childhood. You grew up living in a funeral home, right? Can you share any spooky experiences from your childhood? Has your upbringing influenced your writing in any way?

Yeah, growing up in a funeral home and having parents who worked there (my stepdad is a funeral director and my mom is the property caretaker) made sleepovers pretty fun! Sometimes, and don’t let my parents read this, I would have friends sleep over and we would sneak downstairs to play hide and seek throughout the funeral home, and I would be the only one brave enough to hide inside the showroom caskets.

Spooky experiences? We would need a whole separate interview for that. We experienced everything from appliances turning on, knocking on doors, footsteps in the hallways, glimpses of movement from the corner of our eyes, and a lot more. I don’t think my upbringing has influenced my writing per se, but it has affected my view on death.

What is your biggest fear?

Mirrors. Seriously. I’m always terrified of seeing something behind in the reflection that might not be there if I turn around.

I know you write rock fiction. What inspired you to take that route? How are the stories influenced by the music? Do the lyrics come into play or is it the sound of the song?

Music is my #1 love in life. I was in 4 bands (released 7 albums total) and spent years playing shows. I have attended over 500 concerts. I listen to almost 600 different bands. However, being an author is my actual career, so I wanted to brand myself as someone who wrote about music. But not “about” music (like non-fiction or biographies.)

I have spent my whole life listening to albums and thinking about how some of them would make awesome movies (like a reader thinking a novel would make an awesome movie.) But I’m not a filmmaker. I’m an author. So I thought, why not novelize all these amazing albums instead of waiting for someone to adapt it into a film? So I take the lyrics as my outline, then make it my own and expand on everything. At the end of the day, the album may be the “source material,” but all my novels are truly my own voice and tone, the same as when a director adapts a novel.

If you could be a ghost or a vampire, which one would you be? Why?

Vampire for sure. They are way sexier. And my life goal is to bring sexy back.

What’s your favorite scary movie?

The Exorcist and Insidious are probably tied for my favorite horror film, that is not Stephen King (my favorite author) or David Cronenberg (my favorite director).

What is the plot of the Moonlight City Drive trilogy? What music inspired it?

A detective is hot on the trails of a Jack-the-Ripper-style killer, but there’s a 300-year-old witch and her army of ghouls manipulating both the detective and killer against each other. The detective gets wind of this and has to make a decision: side with the witch to take down the killer or side with the killer to take down the witch. It is a completed trilogy, and part 1 is a novelization of Dog Fashion Disco’s concept album, “Adultery.” However, part 2 and 3 do not use any source material; they are completely fresh ideas from my brain.

Where can readers find you?

Personal Website: http://www.brianpaone.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/PaoneBrian

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brianpaone_author/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrianPaonesNovels

Isabelle Palerma

Poet Spotlight on: LowKey

In her own words, the poet LowKey says this: “I go by the name LowKey. I write about anything and everything that stirs me enough to want to pick up the pen. Blessed with an attention span of a goldfish, the brevity of my literary work comes as a given. Simple yet effective is my writing mantra.”

LowKey writes poetry that hearkens back to more traditional poets, yet has a distinct style all its own. Whether it is one of her short pieces or a longer work, she stops to make readers of her poetry think and contemplate the content of her works. They are a reflection of the world we live in, both our interior realms and the external.

When did you first discover that you were a poet? What was that experience like?

When I was around 18. It was more of a “okay, so I think I can write poems” than a “aha! me is a poet!” I remember being pretty nervous when I asked my mum to have a read. She is an amazing writer and poetry is her thing. I saw her eyes welling up as she was reading the piece. I think that was the first time I realized how my words could actually impact people. It was empowering, humbling, liberating, all at once.

What are some of your favorite subjects to write about? What inspires you to write poetry?

I think the darker shades of human emotions is what I like to explore and write about. We as a society present ourselves in a neatly wrapped package with a red bow around it. What goes on underneath that shimmery wrap is something we usually shy away from or deny. So that is what I love to discover through the words I pen. I think pain inspires me to write the most. I know that might sound a bit whack, but some of the best creative pieces I have written have been from when I was in a dark place. Maybe it is because my need to lean on creativity to express myself is the most during those times.

If you could spend the afternoon with another famous author or poet, who would you choose and why?

Has to be Sir Walter de la Mare, although he isn’t amidst us anymore. He is my absolute favorite. The way he built an entire atmosphere around the reader with his words is beyond amazing. From his poems, he seems to have been pretty intense and quiet. It would be fascinating to see what he really was like.

What is your favorite aspect of writing poetry? What is your least favorite?

I think the healing that comes from writing, regardless of the form of writing is my most favorite aspect. The least favorite aspect is someone out there always does it better and you go, “Damn! why didn’t I think of that!!?”

How did you discover your style of poetry? How did you find your voice as a poet?

I feel like every writer has something unique to offer that might be lost if one tries to emulate. I think “inspired” would be the right word for me here. I like subtlety. I always have. So when I began writing, it was something that came naturally to me.

What advice do you have for poets who are just beginning their careers as poets?

Be honest and unfiltered. Creativity is where you can just let go. So, make the most of it. Most importantly, don’t be swayed by the negativity that your readers might hurl at you. As long as you keep your “writer conscience” clear, it’s all good.

Do you think shorter poetry is easier for readers to digest? What influence has social media had on your writing style, if any?

Oh yes! I am not sure about the digest part, but people nowadays definitely prefer brevity. Social media fortunately has not affected the way I choose to express myself through my writing. The reason I said fortunately is because it is so easy to be engulfed and affected by social media in this day and age. From creating pressure to making you doubt yourself to making you lose your originality because you have fallen prey to trends, social media can take away the voice that it so freely provides as well.

Who are your favorite poets to read?

Beside Sir Walter de la Mare and your pieces, I really like reading Edgar Allan Poe and J. Andrew Schrecker.

Where can readers find more of your writing?

https://www.lowkeyrants.com/

Deception

Little Tommy, five years old
Sat with Grandpa and learnt to fold
Colored papers, ribbons, and casks
Into little party masks.

Birthday masks and ballroom faces
Held together with glue and laces
Funny, scary, bold and rude
Different masks for different mood.

“Why do people hide their skin
Behind a veil, so weak and thin?
Tell me, Grandpa, if you can,”
Tommy asked his grand old man.

Grandpa smiled, a smile of lime.
“People do it all the time,
Scared to come out in the bright
They keep their true self out of sight.”

“They coat all bitterness with sugar and honey-
They cover their sins with grey black money;
The colorful masks cover their lives,
But their real self reflects in their eyes.”

“No mask ever made can cover the mirrors
That show perfectness and all errors;
The greatest gift of God, no lies,
All truth surfaces in one’s eyes.”

“So, be true to your own self,
You’ll need no mask, you’ll need no help-
Let your face reflect the love
That He showers down from Heaven above.”

“Be honest, and love mankind-
These things these days are hard to find;
One by one, these steps will grace
And make the world a happier place.”

-LowKey

Isabelle Palerma

Poet Spotlight on: Brandan T.C. McCarty

Poet Brandan T.C. McCarty lives in Washington and in addition to writing poetry, he is interested in music and art. As a member of the Makah tribe, he has been a dancer, singer, and artist in that culture.

Brandan, you have said before music influences your writing. How exactly does music play a role on the poetry you create?

Yes, music is an influence. I listen to a large base of music because of family and friends introducing me to new music. It depends on the music sound being played, and it could just be a lyric(s). Metallica is a huge influence.

Writing is a form of art, but I know you also paint. What does the intersection of art and writing mean to you?

In ’01, I was hurt emotionally by a teacher in art college. I would destroy any art I created, so I switched to writing to deal with traumatic past events. In ’11, I started to work with acrylic paints. By ’18, I became a visual artist as well as a New Age Coastal Artist for my Native art. The past two and half years, I have been using many mediums and platforms to create art pieces. I still wrote, but not as much. I figured why not do both and maybe blend them together in some pieces. ‘The Wanderer’ is close to a visual concept of what I am evolving into as an artist.

Your Makah roots are very important to you, as is family and knowing your history. This is evident in the poetry you write. What would you advise the young poet who is not as well-versed in their past as you?

My roots are important. My dad has said to me all that I do reflects back on your teachers and persons involved with you. My mom said the same thing in her way of communicating to me. I read. I read just about anything. I was told to figure out the style you want to write, and then go find published work similar so your skill can be honest. As for past or culture, read and spend time with families and friends. Listen, take time to actually listen. Even if it is a day spent sitting in a kitchen drinking coffee and watching grandpa carve, or dad paint a mask. Open yourself to learn, to fall and get back up.

How would you describe your being a father as an influence on your poetry?

I used to have some selfish habits, and those habits almost claimed my life. I came to realize, I don’t want this for my eldest son. Nor any other child that looks up to me. So I turned from booze, I went back to arts. Poetry is art, to me just about anything could be considered an art. Now, with my baby I have been relearning to sing my Native Family songs and dancing the dances. I have been away too long from it. I guess I can say, being a father has enriched my poetry with more care and love than I had before.

Who are some of your favorite poets? What aspects of their poetry appeal to you as a reader? As a writer?

Charles Bukowski, as a reader, good comic. Biography spoken in poetry verse. As a writer, someone once said my work reminds him of Bukowski. Raymond Carver, as a reader, his work involving water or daily life. As a writer, I met Tess Gallagher and she said I reminded her of her late husband, Raymond. J. A. Janice has one book of poetry. Read a little a bit of it. A strong woman, and a gentle soul. She writes crime novels. Met her a couple times in person. My mom got me into her works. My late Mama Valerie, because she had a talent of words and wish I recorded some of her work better.

Where can readers find more of your writing?

https://www.postpoems.org/authors/majesticdravon
https://allpoetry.com/Brandan_Tototch
www.facebook.com/nmpBrandanMc

Gift Exchange

I stand before you, shivering and straggling a
box.
A battered, scarred, worn box full of the
darkness I wish to gift you.
The air I taste and breathe, is excellences of
sweetness.
In my bitter hands, 1 hold my broken dreams
and scattered Spirit.
All the past lovers have left their mark,
tainting my heart and you stand before me
Accepting the box, receiving as a gift and
you set the broken box at our feet
You lift up my dampen chin, my flooded
beard and your lips swim in my waters
You brave the morose salt for a delicate
kiss.
In return, you gift me light. You gift me
soothing songs to dance my heart
I gift you my darkness, and you gift me the
warming light.

Brandan T.C. McCarty